Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
