So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
