What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think I just sharted jello shots
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
