the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
