Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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