You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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