Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
