Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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