we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
