and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
