you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
