What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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