Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
