Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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