I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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