where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
