Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The best revenge is premature balding
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
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