this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
