Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
