in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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