he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
