If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Damn victory sex feels great
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
