Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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