Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
be right there i have to get my cape
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
