When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize