That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
