TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
