Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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