Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Is it because I queefed?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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