Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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