Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
