i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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