My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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