wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
