At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
sex in a hospital.. check
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
