I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
