Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It was like getting head from an anaconda
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
