drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
