Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
