Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
