You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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