he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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