As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
