yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
