How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize