When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
