Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
