Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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