How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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