Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
