They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
