people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
