If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
