Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My dick has a subreddit
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
