Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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