There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
