I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
