Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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