Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
