I'm really into asian looking animals
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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