i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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