Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
