his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
