Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
