We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I AM VODKA MAN
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
